Socializing

I have very few followers on social media. This is upsetting to me. How can I deal with my disappointment?

Dear Socializing,
Social media is overrated. I know you don't believe me when I say this, especially because I am a social media star, recognized and applauded in all corners of the internet. Trust me when I tell you that I enjoy that recognition and applause, especially since I'm receiving it after a life spent quietly eating grass in a field. At that time in my life, even the local birds in the trees near the field didn't notice me. I'm pretty sure they thought I was a horse, which is insulting because horses are drama queens and perhaps the most overrated species on this planet. So when I finally reached a point in my life where I received generous applause and recognition, I can assure you that I appreciated it. But while applause and recognition are many things, they are not a cure-all. They do not cure my bad moods. I still struggle with self-confidence, especially when it comes to the shininess of my coat. If applause and recognition fixed everything, I wouldn't struggle with these things. But I do. 
My advice to you is to stop worrying about how many people are seeing what you share. Worry, instead, about what you're sharing. So many people share mindless, ridiculous things on social media that contribute to the epidemic of meanness and selfishness that is sweeping the world. Are you solving the world's problems by spreading kindness and positivity, or are you contributing to them by sharing photos of your dinner and memes? No offense, Socializing, but I think this is probably exactly what you're doing. Unfortunately, I do not understand or respect memes. If you are sharing memes, I think you should probably leave social media altogether and go back to college and study philosophy. I suggest reading the works of Plato, Kant, and Laura Weisberger. These offer you a glimpse into how to live wisely, and a life lived wisely doesn't include a life with memes. You have so much more to offer the world in spaces outside of social media, and I suggest you start offering it. Consider a career in phlebotomy, or start selling paintings on the sidewalk. Offer something to the world, not the web.

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